Birth Story

Audrina Maria Cole

(Riri)

Our little girl is here and it feels amazing! I can hardly believe it’s been 10 whole days already since she was born.

Many of you know just how terrified I was of giving birth, since my last labour with Luca was so long and painful πŸ™ˆ. With Luca I was in labour for 25 hours, he was back to back, I had an epidural and 2nd degree tear 😳. I was so scared of experiencing that pain for that long again. Little did I know that we would barley make it to hospital in time for this little ones birth! πŸ™Š

21st January 2019

40 + 5 days over due

The first inkling I had that labour was on it’s way was I had a show early in the morning around 7am. Following I had mild period like pain that was totally bearable I had a bath, got ready, ate breakfast, even had a nap and then a big contraction came at 12.52. This was it, I knew something was defiantly happening. After that big contraction they came every 5 mins, I was unable to sit down, I knew I had to get to the hospital ASAP!

We arrived at the hospital.

The car ride was the worst! Having to sit down and unable to move around when your having BIG contractions was not nice. Little did I know I was actually going through transition in the car on the way. I remember saying I don’t want to do this anymore, I want to go home. Typical transition tell tale sign 😳… However I was in complete denial, with Luca’s labour being so long I thought this maybe was just the start of it and I had hours ahead. We parked the car in the entrance where you get 30mins free before you have to move it. Walking through the hospital and getting to the second floor maternity unit was UNREAL! It literally felt like the baby was going to drop out at any moment. We got to the triage reception and the lady behind the desk told me to take a seat in their waiting room 😳 the waiting room was packed! I couldn’t even sit down if I wanted too. I remember looking around at the women waiting they were calm, smiling, sipping tea and looking relaxed. Me on the other hand I couldn’t talk, the pain was overtaking every other sense in my body I stood in the triage corridor for around 5 mins before I started pushing, stood up right there in the waiting room. Anyone thats gave birth knows your body completely takes over, my body was pushing and this baby was coming RIGHT NOW! In this waiting room corridor full of people.

I shouted out that I was pushing, everyone in the waiting room stared at me, midwives ran over to me and took me into the triage check up room. It was so tiny you could barley fit us all in, it was just a basic little check up room, with a bed. Lay on the bed the midwives told me I was fully dilated and they could see the babies head 😳.

Baby is born 2.42pm

Two pushes later, no pain relief what so ever, 15 minutes after arriving at hospital, baby Audrina was born! Totally unbelievable. I was wheeled out of the little check up room back through the triage waiting room holding my baby within minutes. The look on some of the people’s faces were hilarious πŸ™Š. By the time we got to a delivery suit, we still had time left on the car in the 30min carpark πŸ˜„πŸ™ŒπŸ».

I still can’t believe how fast the labour went. After being so scared and worrying daily, it turned out to be amazing. Yes it was incredibly painful, but it was not prolonged pain, it was fast and thats the best that could have happened. We spent 2 nights in hospital, came back on the third day. Riri had to be put into a hot cot and monitored every 4 hours as she was not regulating her own heat. Thankfully after lots of observations we were able to come home on the third day, Ri was able to regulate her heat. ☺️

Reflection

After your birth you spend time thinking about the experience and I couldn’t be happier with how my birth went. I hardly felt contractions till near the end, it was fast and I didn’t have any pain relief that I had to recover from or that interfered with Ri Ri. I am so thankful for this birth experience and will hold the special memories forever. πŸ₯°

lets stop the mum shaming!

 

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Hi guys! hope your all doing good, I just wanted to pop over and write a post about something that has really been getting to me these past few weeks.

Does anyone else feel like everyone is in competition with each other these days? Especially when it comes to parenthood and raising our children! The mum shaming phenomenon where everyone feels entitled to express their judgements is absolutely unnecessary and harmful it needs to STOP!

I’m sure women reading this will understand what I am talking about and the ways in which we are shamed. Every aspect of our lives is looked at and judged, without people even really knowing us most of the time. Everything down to what our children eat, if a mother is breastfeeding or bottle-feeding, co-sleeping, if your a young mum, if you home school your children, if your a stay at home mum or working mum, if your a single mum, even down to how many Christmas presents you buy your children – everything is scrutinised. I think I can talk on behalf of a lot of mums, that we are absolutely exhausted with having the pressure of being the perfect parent.Β I have spoke to a few friends about this and they have told me that’s just what you sign up for when you become a mother, but I don’t believe it should be this way!

Women should be empowering each other, lift each other up, help each other and spreading kindness to one another. That’s why I wanted to write this post to try and uplift some of you mama’s. If your child has ate fish fingers 3 nights in the row your still a good mum, if your child sat on an iPad for 3 hours straight just so you could get a little peace your still a good mum, if you breastfeed or bottle feed your still a good mum, if you forgot to read your child a bedtime story last night your still a good mum, if the children have stayed indoors all day your still a good mum., if you buy your children lots of Christmas presents or if you only buy your child one your still a good mum. It’s wrong to make a person feel less than because they do something different from you. I’m all about wanting to helping others and trying to empower women. I wrote a post about choosing not to use an iPad whilst Luca is young, but I would never judge parents who do use them not for one second! We all have to do what we need to, to get through the day sometimes, we all parent differently, and I can’t understand why everyone can’t just be content with how they parent without passing comments onto other parenting styles. As long as that child is healthy, happy and safe it should not matter.

Logging onto social media can be the worst playground for the mum shaming, so I’m hoping to spread some kindness over there today. If you head over to my Instagram you will see I have posted a picture, tag a mama you know to let her know she is doing a great job. Make someone smile today, uplift and empower someone today ❀

 

Age is just a number!

 

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I hope with this post it can change at least one persons perspective on young mums. To understand that it takes a type of person, not an age to be a good mother. I was 18 when I became pregnant and I have endured and still endure stereotyping, judgements, stares and comments from others, especially now that I have a 4 year old shouting mama across the supermarket, I notice peoples looks as if she’s to young to have a 4 year old. This is something that honestly effects me and I know must do so for so many others. The frustration that you feel because you are instantly judged before even opening your mouth to speak, just based on how you look or your age is so disheartening.

I recall many of times that I was made to feel inadequate. One time at a midwife appointment I remember a woman just staring at me in the waiting room, not taking her eyes of me, looking at my big bump in disgust. I turned to look at her and she shook her head and tuted at me. That lady made me feel like the scum of the earth. I had people tell me I was a silly little girl, my life was ruined, my life was over and that no man would ever want me now I have a child and that I will loose all my friends. How awful is that? Nobody should be made to feel that way.

I feel it’s very wrong to assume because of age a person will be a better mother, just because a woman is in her 30s/40s does not mean she will find motherhood easy and be the best mum. No matter what age raising a child is hard for us all, you don’t just automatically get an easy baby because your classed as ‘older’.

I have always wanted to rise above the stigma attached to me because I’m a young mum. It makes me so happy when people compliment me on how I parent Luca, how good of a job I am doing and how hard I have worked to get a career and college qualifications with a baby in tow. I had to deal with a lot of negativity through my pregnancy and to hear positive opinions makes me so proud. This is the messageΒ  I want to get across, lets uplift women, stop the judging and staring, help a mother who is dealing with a screaming baby while trying to do the food shop don’t tut and stare. Be open minded to the fact that these ‘young mums’ are doing all they can for their children and doing a damn good job at it too. Many women in their 30s/40s already have their career path, young mums are still having to figure all that out with a baby too. Have compassion and don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Were all doing the best we can, women receive so much pressure from society as it is, lets stick together to empower each other rather than tear each other down.

Being a young mum for me means that when Luca is 21 I will be 39. I love that, I wish people were more positive when I was pregnant I wish people would of told me that being a mother is the greatest gift anyone could receive, that being a young mum means you get longer with your children and grandchildren, that you will love this little person more than your own life, they will be your best friend, that you will still be young enough when they are grown up to do all the things you have wanted to do, that they will change your life for the better, that you will cry with happiness when their little hand touches yours and that all will be ok… πŸ™‚ ❀