I hope with this post it can change at least one persons perspective on young mums. To understand that it takes a type of person, not an age to be a good mother. I was 18 when I became pregnant and I have endured and still endure stereotyping, judgements, stares and comments from others, especially now that I have a 4 year old shouting mama across the supermarket, I notice peoples looks as if she’s to young to have a 4 year old. This is something that honestly effects me and I know must do so for so many others. The frustration that you feel because you are instantly judged before even opening your mouth to speak, just based on how you look or your age is so disheartening.
I recall many of times that I was made to feel inadequate. One time at a midwife appointment I remember a woman just staring at me in the waiting room, not taking her eyes of me, looking at my big bump in disgust. I turned to look at her and she shook her head and tuted at me. That lady made me feel like the scum of the earth. I had people tell me I was a silly little girl, my life was ruined, my life was over and that no man would ever want me now I have a child and that I will loose all my friends. How awful is that? Nobody should be made to feel that way.
I feel it’s very wrong to assume because of age a person will be a better mother, just because a woman is in her 30s/40s does not mean she will find motherhood easy and be the best mum. No matter what age raising a child is hard for us all, you don’t just automatically get an easy baby because your classed as ‘older’.
I have always wanted to rise above the stigma attached to me because I’m a young mum. It makes me so happy when people compliment me on how I parent Luca, how good of a job I am doing and how hard I have worked to get a career and college qualifications with a baby in tow. I had to deal with a lot of negativity through my pregnancy and to hear positive opinions makes me so proud. This is the message I want to get across, lets uplift women, stop the judging and staring, help a mother who is dealing with a screaming baby while trying to do the food shop don’t tut and stare. Be open minded to the fact that these ‘young mums’ are doing all they can for their children and doing a damn good job at it too. Many women in their 30s/40s already have their career path, young mums are still having to figure all that out with a baby too. Have compassion and don’t judge a book by it’s cover. Were all doing the best we can, women receive so much pressure from society as it is, lets stick together to empower each other rather than tear each other down.
Being a young mum for me means that when Luca is 21 I will be 39. I love that, I wish people were more positive when I was pregnant I wish people would of told me that being a mother is the greatest gift anyone could receive, that being a young mum means you get longer with your children and grandchildren, that you will love this little person more than your own life, they will be your best friend, that you will still be young enough when they are grown up to do all the things you have wanted to do, that they will change your life for the better, that you will cry with happiness when their little hand touches yours and that all will be ok… 🙂 ❤