Birth Story

Audrina Maria Cole

(Riri)

Our little girl is here and it feels amazing! I can hardly believe it’s been 10 whole days already since she was born.

Many of you know just how terrified I was of giving birth, since my last labour with Luca was so long and painful πŸ™ˆ. With Luca I was in labour for 25 hours, he was back to back, I had an epidural and 2nd degree tear 😳. I was so scared of experiencing that pain for that long again. Little did I know that we would barley make it to hospital in time for this little ones birth! πŸ™Š

21st January 2019

40 + 5 days over due

The first inkling I had that labour was on it’s way was I had a show early in the morning around 7am. Following I had mild period like pain that was totally bearable I had a bath, got ready, ate breakfast, even had a nap and then a big contraction came at 12.52. This was it, I knew something was defiantly happening. After that big contraction they came every 5 mins, I was unable to sit down, I knew I had to get to the hospital ASAP!

We arrived at the hospital.

The car ride was the worst! Having to sit down and unable to move around when your having BIG contractions was not nice. Little did I know I was actually going through transition in the car on the way. I remember saying I don’t want to do this anymore, I want to go home. Typical transition tell tale sign 😳… However I was in complete denial, with Luca’s labour being so long I thought this maybe was just the start of it and I had hours ahead. We parked the car in the entrance where you get 30mins free before you have to move it. Walking through the hospital and getting to the second floor maternity unit was UNREAL! It literally felt like the baby was going to drop out at any moment. We got to the triage reception and the lady behind the desk told me to take a seat in their waiting room 😳 the waiting room was packed! I couldn’t even sit down if I wanted too. I remember looking around at the women waiting they were calm, smiling, sipping tea and looking relaxed. Me on the other hand I couldn’t talk, the pain was overtaking every other sense in my body I stood in the triage corridor for around 5 mins before I started pushing, stood up right there in the waiting room. Anyone thats gave birth knows your body completely takes over, my body was pushing and this baby was coming RIGHT NOW! In this waiting room corridor full of people.

I shouted out that I was pushing, everyone in the waiting room stared at me, midwives ran over to me and took me into the triage check up room. It was so tiny you could barley fit us all in, it was just a basic little check up room, with a bed. Lay on the bed the midwives told me I was fully dilated and they could see the babies head 😳.

Baby is born 2.42pm

Two pushes later, no pain relief what so ever, 15 minutes after arriving at hospital, baby Audrina was born! Totally unbelievable. I was wheeled out of the little check up room back through the triage waiting room holding my baby within minutes. The look on some of the people’s faces were hilarious πŸ™Š. By the time we got to a delivery suit, we still had time left on the car in the 30min carpark πŸ˜„πŸ™ŒπŸ».

I still can’t believe how fast the labour went. After being so scared and worrying daily, it turned out to be amazing. Yes it was incredibly painful, but it was not prolonged pain, it was fast and thats the best that could have happened. We spent 2 nights in hospital, came back on the third day. Riri had to be put into a hot cot and monitored every 4 hours as she was not regulating her own heat. Thankfully after lots of observations we were able to come home on the third day, Ri was able to regulate her heat. ☺️

Reflection

After your birth you spend time thinking about the experience and I couldn’t be happier with how my birth went. I hardly felt contractions till near the end, it was fast and I didn’t have any pain relief that I had to recover from or that interfered with Ri Ri. I am so thankful for this birth experience and will hold the special memories forever. πŸ₯°

How waking up at 6am changed my life…

I don’t know about you, but I was always one for snoozing the alarm when the morning would roll around. Just 5 more mins pleaseee!

Doing this was a bad habit that I needed to break. It made me fly around in the mornings, be all over the place, forgetting things, being snappy, being irritated, unorganised, not having time for breakfast, being hangry and just a tornado of anxiety rushing around leaving a trail of disorganised mess behind me. (Which I would later regret as I would be the one tidying it all up later in the day πŸ˜„πŸ€·πŸ»β€β™€οΈ)…It literally made no sense, I would swear to myself that I would go to bed at a reasonable time that night, so I wouldn’t be so tired in the mornings, Always thought of it but never did it πŸ™ˆ… this began to really grate on me so I finally decided to change something.

One day two years ago I set just one alarm for 6am, switched the snooze option off and fell asleep. Morning came around and the alarm went off. Now I knew this was it, no snooze, I rather get my arse up now or i’ll fall back asleep and end up late for work, late for taking Luca to school and just plain LATE for the day ahead. So with that one alarm I dragged myself up out of bed and began my morning routine. Luca still fast asleep so I was able to get ready in peace, which for a parent is one of the best things! πŸ™ŒπŸ» I was able to think clearly so I didn’t forget anything, I was able to have breakfast and even have a little tidy up before we left,?so I didn’t have as much to do when I got home. My day was already going well before I even left the door. I felt so much calmer, organised and motivated for the day ahead. This feeing was something that stuck with me. The feeling of being rushed is awful, it’s my absolute pet hate. It’s enough to make you throw your bags on the ground and say thats it i’m not adulting today. But this newfound having time to spare in the mornings and being able to leisurely get through my morning routine and chores was amazing. So thats how the 6am get up stuck.

Being up before your children works so well too. At the time it can be hard to muster up the motivation to get out of bed while they are still asleep, but it’s so worth it when you get your own time to get yourself and the house ready before they even wake up. It makes the whole day go smoother I promise.

A morning routine sets your tone for the day so heres how waking up earlier can change your life for the better :

β€’ You will become more organised.

β€’ Increased productivity.

β€’ You will become more motivated.

β€’ Have extra time to focus on yourself and your thoughts, gaining more clarity over your life.

β€’ Your days will go smoother.

β€’ You will gain a better bedtime routine – from waking up early, your bedtime routine falls into place much easier. Your too tired to watch one more episode on netflix.

β€’ You will be able to have your own time which makes you feel more fulfilled and content with your life.

β€’ Your house will become more organised.

β€’ You will be on time.

β€’ Reduce anxiety.

β€’ You will have time for things that make you feel good – e.g yoga/meditation/breakfast.

β€’ You become a better planner.

β€’ Better sleeping pattern.

β€’ Better concentration.

Why not give it a go? It took one alarm for me to change, and i’m so glad I did. My mornings have become easier and I feel happier.

Ps. I’m a firm believer in balance, so I only set 6am alarms during the week and I give myself a break on the weekends. I usually don’t have to be up and out early during then, so i’m able to enjoy a little lie in. As i’m a mum I class 7am on a weekend a lie in πŸ˜„ but at least i’m able to enjoy getting up with the children without rushing around. It’s the best of both worlds really πŸ™ŒπŸ».

As always thank you for stopping by ☺️

Frankie x

Self care ideas

We are all so busy in our lives and taking care of others, that we often forget we need to care for ourselves too. So following on from an earlier post talking about the importance of self care. Here are some self care ideas, see if you can try and fit just one of them into your day today! You deserve it ❀️

  • DO NOTHING!
  • Take a walk
  • Read a book/magazine
  • Take a long bubble bath
  • Clean or reorganize a room
  • Go for a pedicure
  • Meditate
  • Turn your phone of and watch your favourite movie without any distractions
  • Paint
  • Tidy or declutter – I swear by this, it declutters the mind
  • Face mask
  • Have the courage to say NO to people
  • Put yourself first
  • Listen to positive affirmations (youtube)
  • Paint your nails
  • Write a bucket list
  • Write in your journal
  • Sit in a peaceful place outdoors
  • Start a gratitude journal
  • Play with a pet
  • Do yoga
  • Gardening – plant something new
  • Go for a spa day
  • Listen to your favourite music
  • Get a massage
  • Colour – I love my adult colouring book, it allows my thoughts to detangle. I find myself in a clearer head space afterwards. Try it! ☺️
  • Stay in your PJs all day
  • Listen to a positive/uplifting podcast
  • Light your favourite candles
  • Online shop – treat yourself!

Is there anything else that you do to take care of yourself? ☺️

A letter to my first born

Luca, as the weeks are going by so fast and soon your little sister will be with us, I wanted to write you a little something to let you know how you have been the biggest and best adventure of my life. To also say thank you for making me into mamma first.

I was only 18 when I found out you were in my belly. I was scared and excited all wrapped into one. I remember feeling you move around for the first time and never feeling alone from that point on. I would dream of what you and your little personality would be like and I prayed for you every single day and still to this day do now.

The day you came into the world, was the day my life changed forever. I remember being all alone in the hospital, early hours of the morning, too overwhelmed to sleep I sat up all night watching you. I held you in my arms and stared at your beautiful little face wondering how I got so lucky. I remember feeling so scared, feeling inadequate to look after such a precious gift. You were only a few hours old and you gripped onto my little finger so tight I could barley believe it. It was in that moment that I fell completely and utterly in love with you and knew that I would do whatever I could to be the greatest mum I could be for you.

You see Luca you was giving me the hope and strength I needed before you could even talk.

Loving and growing up with you has been the biggest and greatest adventure of my life. These past 5 years have been the best, making memories with you and watching you grow into the most handsome, kind, smart, funny, wild, sensitive and caring little boy. The years have gone by oh so fast, I remember knowing I needed to get my sleep but I would watch over you for hours in the middle of the night, your first laugh, your first crawl, your first steps and your first words. They have left imprints on my mind that will stay with me forever. You have brought us all so much happiness, I am so thankful to have had all this precious time we have had having you as our only child. Thank you for the most special five years I could have ever wished for.

As you know a new chapter is heading towards us soon, we have another little love on the ride of life with us. I wanted a sibling for you so very much, someone to travel through childhood and life with you. I truly believe there is no greater gift than for a child to have a sibling. No matter how our world changes, you will always be my first. We will love another together and we will all grow together.

Thank you for loving me even when I hardly knew anything about being a mum and made mistakes. Thank you for being there when I had no one else. Thank you for giving me this life and thank you above all for being YOU ❀️

You are the best big brother I could ever ask for, for your little sister. There is nobody I would rather her learn from than you. You see you made me into Mamma, you made me into the mum I am for you today and for the Mamma I will also be for your sister. How special is that!

You will always be my little bambino no matter how big you get.

I love you Luca, beyond words. Forever.

Love Mamma ❀️

Gratitude Journals for children

Gratitude journaling is something that only takes a few minutes per day but can have a big positive impact on your ls and your childrens holistic development, mental health and overall wellbeing.

A gratitude journal is simply something you do to keep track of all the good things your thankful for in life. Usually kept in a book form, you write what you are thankful for that day and what the best bit of the day was etc. No matter what your day looked like, there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for. It’s incredibly easy to start, simply buy a notebook, a pen and start writing daily, about the positives and goodness in your days. The more you focus on the goodness in your life it enables you to gain a different perspective. I whisper thank you to myself continually throughout the day, as soon as I wake in the morning I say thank you out loud and at night I gather all my thankful thoughts and write them down in my book.

Gratitude journals are for everyone! Adults and children of all ages. I started one over a year ago and seeing first hand how powerful this simple tool is to enhance your happiness I decided Luca should try one out too. We do ours after a bath at bedtime, Luca is winding down and able to focus on his thoughts. I find this time very special for both of us, it’s a meaningful bonding time where we are together without any distractions and are able to think about our day clearly. I’m able to get a better insight to Luca’s day and his thoughts. The gratitude journal is full of benefits for us all, but I especially think it’s great for children to start as early as possible because:

β€’ They become more present and mindful

β€’ Improves attitude and builds character

β€’ Become more self aware

β€’ Reduces stress & worries

β€’ Opens communication

β€’ Gives them a different perspective on life

β€’ Develop a sense of thankfulness and gratitude for even the littlest things in life

β€’ Improve emotional well being

β€’ Acknowledging and appreciating the simple things in life

β€’ Allows parents to understand their children on a different level

β€’ Gives children a positive mind set

β€’ Builds resilience

β€’ Promotes life long skills they can carry on through adulthood

β€’ Produces feelings of accomplishment and belonging

β€’ Attracts more good things to come their way

Gratitude Journaling is a way to de stress, calm down, unwind and become mindful. Especially important if your busy and nonstop all day, you and your children need down time to just be in the moment to ground yourselves. Once you start to practise gratitude you will see opportunity to give thanks where ever you go. ☺️

A page out of Luca’s journal πŸ™πŸ»

Take care of YOU!

If you don’t do anything else today just please watch this video.

Taking time to look after yourself is an internal struggle for most if not all parents. I was made to believe that I now come last as a person and my identity will be lost to being a mother and I must do everything for my children and that is all. But why should it be that way? of course we should do whatever makes our children happy and give them everything they need but why can’t we do that for ourselves too?

Being a mother should not steal your identity or steal your happiness. We have the responsibility to findΒ  the right balance in our lives to look after ourselves first so we can then give our all to our children. This video helped me to understand the importance of doing so and I hope it helps you too.

I’m a nurturer by nature, I want to love, help and look after the people in my life, I want to do everything I can. But what happens when you are always giving your all to those around you and your left feeling drained, exhausted and just down right tired. You start to build resentment, you become moody, unhappy and unfulfilled.Β  It’s a constant battle for us I feel. We get the awful mum guilt if we take time to do something for ourselves and I think it’s the way society makes it for women these days. How can you be happy and take care of others if nobody’s taking care of you? But I believe Jada is right it’s not your children or your partner who is responsible for your happiness, it’s on YOU! You have to find what makes you truly happy and what gives you fulfilment.

Give yourself time to relax, don’t feel guilty for being in the bath for over an hour, don’t question yourself as a mother when you decide to have a night out, don’t beat yourself up about wanting alone time, don’t be afraid to put yourself first YOU deserve it! And please know by looking after yourself your doing a better job of looking after those around you.

I hope tonight you get some time to yourself, even if it’s just to watch your favourite TV programme and I hope you realise the importance of self care.

If nobody has told you lately Your doing a great job Mamma! ❀